Clinical Review

NEW YORK STATE

UNIVERSITY

STATEMENT OF PROBLEM:

Holden Caulfield was seen at N.Y Physiological Clinic, for psychoanalyses on his current situation. Dr. Navarro, his personal doctor, referred him. The client was accompanied by Mrs. Caulfield (mother). She wants to gain information about Holden’s physiological state. The following is the summary of results based on the case history form, parent interview, assessment results and observations obtained before or during the evaluation.

CASE HISTORY:

The following information was gathered from the parent interview and the child history form.

Birth History

Medical History

Developmental History

School Performance

Behavioral Issues

Evaluation History

Holden is the product of and unremarkable full-term pregnancy. He had no newborn difficulties that parents recall. He hadn’t been in any clinic except when he cut his hand with window glass. His parents don’t recall any special problems in growth. He suffered the death of his little brother whom he was really close with at age of 13. Holden has been kicked out of four high schools for not meeting their requirements and failing every subject. After being kicked out it seems any effort approach a change in his studies. Holden has been greatly affected after his brother’s death, change has been noticed since the incident according to parents.

BEHAVIORAL OBSERVATIONS:

When first approached by the clinician, Holden seem to ignore everything that was told to him, annoyed. He ignored most of the questions asked. When the questions were repeated, he would make up his name and his personal information.

At the start of the evaluation he seemed obligated and not wanting to be there, he would either use cursory words, or act as if he had a wound that was bleeding profusely. However, after a few activities he started to gain confidence and tensed down, talking more to the psychologist.

SUMMARY AND RECOMMENDATIONS:

Based on the results of this evaluation, Holden presents a physiological reassessment. He had a lack of attention of his parents while he growing up, and his brother’s death affected him because was very close to him and had a very good image for him. But because Holden is not a sociable person, he is not likely to talk about his feelings, so he basically leaves all his feeling inside him making him critical. He thinks really hypocritically, criticizing his around but not looking at himself, he had had so much problems and pressure in the past that he prefers not to take care of them. He is sensible (emotionally weak), so he gets depressed very easily thinking negatively, but small details make him happy. He being in boarding schools, and not sharing time with his family doesn’t let him feel love and support and that’s what he needs. He basically needs to feel more support morally. He is weak and sensible with his emotions so he feels that everyone in his surroundings is “phony”, to distract his problems, he notices other people’s so that he doesn’t have to worry about his. It would be good to do him some sessions of psychotherapy for him to express himself a little more.

Weekly therapy is recommended. The recommended time frame for therapy is forty-five minutes each week. Even though therapy has been recommended in this facility, actual results are expected long term because it is a very delicate situation; this will qualify his way of thinking and make more peaceful his daily life. Share a copy of this report with a staffing specialist at your child’s school to determine if he qualifies for therapy in that setting. Holden Caulfield may be placed on the waiting list at N.Y Department of psychoanalyses in the University of New York. Due to limited space at the clinic, services may not be available until a future date and enrollment is not guaranteed. His status on the waiting list will expire in two years that is one January 10, 1953. If you haven’t received our services by that date, or you continue to have concerns with your child’s psychological status at the time, a re-evaluation to be sought to determine any changes in your child’s psychological status.

________________________________ __________________________________

Isabella Navarro, B.A Diego Urman, M.S CCC/SLP

Graduate Clinician Diagnostic Supervisor

One Day at a Coffee Shop

I sat on the bar table of the recently INAUGURATED coffee shop, waiting for my hot chocolate and cookies. I heard someone entering with BRUSQUENESS through the door, I looked back and saw a young men SLOVENLY CLAD with a puffy coat and a red hunting hat. He seemed RANKLED from the GRIMACE on his face. Just another crazy teen, I thought. You saw many of that GENERATION around New York, I had noticed. He walked to the bar table and sat on the chair next to me.

The AFFABLE waiter finally brought my cup of chocolate and butter cookies. The sweet and warm smell PERVADED the space around me. I grabbed a cookie and GINGERLY dunk it in the beverage. As I drove it to my mouth, I felt the creepy guy beside staring at me. I kind of got freaked out and didn't want to look at him because he looked a little crazy... However, I SUCCUMED.
" Hmm... Do you want something..?" But he kept staring as if I had asked him a GUILE question.
"No, it's okay. Sorry. It's just that you remind me of my little sister," he SPONTANEOUSLY said with a TREMOLOUS voice, as if I had taken him by surprise.
"Oh, okay..." I said, going back to my snack.
"I miss her so goddamn much, you know? I'm in a new boarding school full of more phonies, and I can't see her everyday," I heard him say, this time more PRUDENTLY than before. I nodded, not knowing what to say and perplexed about the reason he was telling me this to me...
"What's your name?" He asked.(Obviously he wanting to stride up a conversation). I didn't want to sound as an IRASCIBLE person, and didn't have much to do so I kept with the talk.
"Isabella, what about yours?"
"Holden," he replied with a little more enthusiasm.

Holden waved to the waiter and asked for a beer, the waiter obviously REBUFFED the request and brought instead a coke. I don't blame the waiter, Holden could be tall but he didn't look like a grown up.
"That happens to me frequently, it ABHORS me as hell... But it doesn't matter, I feel DEHYDRATED with all these January breeze. Doesn't it happen to you?" Holden said as he open the red can. I knew from that comment that what was coming was an INTERMINABLE conversation.

Jumping from one thing to another lead to what he called his "madmen stuff that happened to him". He told me how he had been somewhat like a RECLUSIVE, LACKADAISICAL, DESPONDENT guy that had been kicked out of his fourth boarding school. Because he was supposed to go home a Wednesday after being kicked out --and it was Sunday-- he went all over New York to kill time.

I got to the part where he was with Phoebe --his beloved little sister who is sweet, and knows exactly what everyone is always talking about-- the carousel part, and how much it had meant so much to him. The story was interrupted by my mom, who came into the coffee shop and called my name. So I had to say bye to Holden, I however, didn't say "good luck" though, he made it very clear that he disliked it.

Over all, I don't consider that encounter that bad. I thought it was nice meeting, knowing, and trying to give him SAGE advice. He had a TURBULENT life, and I admire that he was able to EXTRICATE himself from his depressing times.

Again

You rebuke me.
With my head down,
prudently I nod.
Not because I want to
Not because I like to
I just stay quite so that the discussion ends...
But even like that,
it keeps on going
over and over
giving more wood to the fire.
And we embark on this once again.
This is slovenly,
stupid,
somber.
You say that I'm audacious,
that I should be conscientious
and all the problems would end, only
if I change.
It rankles me,
and it all gathers in my chest
profusely
like a bunch of wrinkled paper
each word bringing more,
overflowing.
If it was for me I would tell you,
but you'll take it wrongly,
I know,
like most of what I say...
You have no inkling that maybe I do care,
care about our problems,
That maybe I try to work them...
You're quite lackadaisical.
I feel that slowly this pilfers the little pieces
of our relationship...
Ruining it,
Damaging it,
affecting us.
It's hard for me,
It's hard for you.
I want it to be serene,
I want it to be better...
I'm not willing to keep up with it,
Are you?

Holden

Bitter,
critical,
not-caring.
Loosing the game:
kicked out.
Occupied parents,
brother in hollywood,
and he is just there,
with no one to turn to.
Bird in a cage,
too lazy to come out
too much himself to care.
All alone,
it's him
and his book
in his own black
world.
Searching for a goddamn goodby,
finally leaving these
phonies.
What will he do next?
It's not worth to care.

Kissed by an Angel- Book Review

Elizabeth Chandler does a magnificent job with its heart breaking romantic suspenseful trilogy Kissed by an Angel, consisting of The Power of Love and Soulmates as the two other books. The story is about the protagonist’s life after her dramatic death of her lovable boyfriend, Tristan, as he tries to reconnect with her as a ghost. After the car accident, Ivy thought she had lost everything even her faith in angels, they hadn’t help to save Tristan, so they were just figments of her imagination… But what she didn’t know was that maybe the incident wasn’t really an accident, and that Tristan wasn’t completely gone, he was angel! And he had the mission to find out what was going on…

Gregory –Ivy’s stepbrother—had become really close with Ivy during the rough times because he knew how she felt, he recently had lost his mom –suicide. Everything started to mix up when a person attacked Ivy for two times, she was perplexed not knowing who would’ve wanted to hurt her. She began to feel very insecure and unsafe, because of the attacks and because she didn’t have her absolute source to turn to, her angels. As time went by, thieves started to come up… There was Eric (the alcoholic and drug abuser friend of Gregory), there was Gregory as well, after she found weird papers on his room, and Will, the most confusing one. He had drawn once in the restaurants an angel with Tristan face, Ivy took it very offensive, and got mad but when she looked into her eyes, he saw a certain sparkle that reminded her of Tristan and made her kind of fall in love. Soon enough Tristan learns that the person responsible for the accident was after Ivy… Could he be able to cross the boundaries between life and death to warn his Ivy?

The plot starts off very romantic, with Ivy and Tristan. But as chapters go on suspense starts to fill in. There were many parts in which you were drawn into the story not wanting to stop, because of the third person point of view was very easy to understand the characters and get to know them. Elizabeth Chandler gives a very original theme involving angels, true love and average teenagers. This is the type of story that you always let you wondering and would get you to fall in love with the story. However, there were some parts during the middle as it got to the climax that got really slow, I read because I knew that something big was going to happen but sometimes it took too long. But still, it was worth waiting.

During the story we see the many changes in Ivy, obviously because she had been through a lot, starting with her boyfriend who she was in love with, to her attacks. While we get a peek to her life and see her relations with her friends. What completes it enough to make a interesting story plot is the struggle of her boyfriend trying to contact her as a ghost and trying to make her believe in angels again after she had lost her faith completely.

In conclusion, I think of this book being very original. I liked the way the author wrote some parts as if it had been obvious that it was going to happen, so that in the next event she came up with an action that the reader wasn’t expecting. I would recommend this book for people who are interested in love, suspense and lots of action. Get ready to fall in love!

My Father

Is a the wall that protects,

The instruments that brings close,

The problem solver button.

My father is the animal instinct,

A wolf; a lion,

The king of the jungle.

My father is my sage advisor,

The one that tells me

whether the things are

Right or wrong

Whether to choose

That lane or the other.

His the lifebelt.

Always there,

tighten to me

just in case

something happens,

So that it saves me,

Looking to see if I fall

to stand me up.

His a hugger.

Always with his arms

Wide open,

And a smile,

Giving me

warmth.

Because of him,

I know the right answer.

Because of him,

I know what is the right side.

Because of him,

I've learned my lessons.

Because of him,

I am this person today.

My father is

strong

ambitious

traditional,

a perfectionist.

When things go wrong,

he deals with it,

he goes through the problem

without any fear,

without getting mad,

without stopping to loving me.

He is strong.

My father is one person that I admire,

and I would stand by his side

forever.

Confession Tuesday- Dentist

I must confess that I like (more like love) going to the dentist. Weird, I know. But for me, there is no way to hate it. Going to the dentist means checking braces, checking braces means one step up to teeth being ready, and teeth ready means BRACES OFF <3.
Maybe I'm just over reacting, but it gets pretty boring to have braces for a year. A year of coming out ugly in pictures, a year of looking at a metal smile with half of the salad stuck in there... I don't know how people for example like Andres could live so peacefully having braces for six years (that equals almost have of your life!).
Last time I went to the dentist, he said that he would consider to take them off the next month! Tell me if you have the possibility of hearing those type of things why wouldn't you LOVE going to the dentist?

Memoir Monday- Friends.

Friends. They are there to support you. They are there to accompany you. They are there to help you. They are not perfect, but so aren't you. They are definitely a pivotal part of your life, especially if you are a teenager. They can provide you with affable profound advice as much as spontaneous jokes that lead to interminable laughs, imperative to feel alive.
We were sleeping at my house, after a party. Four of my friends and me. Somehow we managed to fit the five of us in my room with a bed and a air bed.
We were laughing, sharing stuff that had happened in the party, some one told of how she had a very fun time, the other one about how he liked that guy, and we all asked other one if he really liked that other guy, talking about everything that encompassed the five of us together. You could feel the feeling of closeness, of confidence in the group and I felt a feeling of delight. Happy to have the friends I had, sure about having them beside me when ever I needed someone to tell something, or even to do silly things, they would always be there, I'm sure.

Poetry Friday- Grandma.

I miss you.

You are

Adorable,

Ambitious,

Amazing.

Since I was a kid,

I knew I was your favorite,

You always told me.

Remember?

We cooked,

We cleaned,

You Cared.

I knew you loved me

A lot,

I felt it.

We played,

We laughed,

We went to the park.

Where ever I wanted to go,

You’ll go.

What ever I liked,

You’d buy.

I’d spent weekends and weekends

Just with you,

In your small house,

Your small comfortable home.

But now,

It’s different.

You say it’s different,

Well,

Long distance is never the same.

Talking in the phone with you,

Is not the same as

receiving your comfort,

Your hugs,

Your kisses.

You might say

I’m not the same,

That I don’t love as much,

You say that it’s because of my age,

That I don’t show it.

I don’t agree,

I am the same little girl

Who loves you plenty

and

Misses you as hell.

I love you as much as I ever had,

Grandma.

Slice Of Life Thursday - BINGO

I sat there. Waiting for the lucky number. Hoping that I had the winning paper; but I didn't. First paper gone. Second paper gone. Third paper gone. This was the forth, the winner, the one I was going to win (or so I wanted).... I wanted to stamp all the numbers, I wanted to win. Please, let this paper be the winner, I begged in my mind. Before this game started, I decided to stay quite that way I could concentrate and have more chance to win.
The irritated voice of the man that told the numbers asserted my numbers, making me feel each time more more the $100 check in my hand. Only two more! Yes! Being quite is working!!
The man said the next number, which wasn't one of mine. First one wrong, it's okay... It's just one...
"BINGO!!"
Wait, what?
"BINGO!!"
I knew that voice... I hear it every day... Laura?
"I win!!", Laura exclaimed as she poked my hopeless face.
It can't be, it just CAN'T...
My last and only chance that I had to win, and LAURA wins it? No way...
No more bingos please.
At least I hope that Laura buys me something with the 100 bucks.

Wordly Wise Wednesday - Kids of Today

I highly ABHOR the little kids, or kids that are younger than me think of themselves “cooler” more “powerful” than anyone else. I mean, what happened to the concept “Respect your elders”? O.K, I know I’m not a 40 year old but younger kids should like be nice to older kids, don’t you think? They are supposed to be AFFABLE boys and girls looking out for you to be like you someday… Of what I remembered, I wasn’t like that… I tried to be the nicest to the “big” kids, I was even scared to talk to them, if I did, it was with my most TREMELOUS voice if it ever came out…These days these kids are just so mean. It’s just AMISS… Now I’m the one ENTREATING an IRASCIBLE eight-year-old to let me sit beside them on the bus, it always ends on a INTERMINABLE speech trying to convince the kid to let me sit next to him. Then, when I’m finally sited I’m completely DEPONTENTthinking that I just begged a little kid to let ME seat on a bus seat, it just HAUNTS my mind… If they are like that today, how is the future going to be? I’m saying this because I have an example in my house, my sister….. She is eight and she always is fighting because she wants to do the same thing I do, really, what is she thinking? And they she manipulates and IMPEL my mom to buy her what she wants, to let her sleep until late ECT. I try to go on with a TIRADE with my mom to make her see what I see, but it doesn’t seem to work… PROFOUNDLY thinking, this could really be a issue for the future…

Confession Tuesday

Mrs. Meadows got me thinking… Is it really immature? Well, it kind of may be… Just to some people… I think back at the moment a bunch of 13-14 year old eighth graders singing happy birthday as loud as they can, banging the tables, to Sergio who it wasn’t even his birthday. Well, maybe… to the third person it might seem a stupid, but I have to confess that it’s fun.

Sometimes I feel as if I have too much pressure from people, from the world itself. It’s like time went so fast, now all of a sudden I have to be responsible, have more homework, no recess, and be like a lady. Why? When did I grow up this fast? What if sometimes I like to feel like a kid? Have a little of fun that I used to? Is it wrong or is it right? Well, I don’t feel so bad because I wasn’t me the only one singing. It was the whole grade.

Memoir Monday

I ran as fast as I could to the stage, as soon as they told me that the video was playing. I saw the group of Vivi’s closest friends, all crowed in a circle sorrouding her, I stood beside them. I started at her, she was BEAUTIFUL… I never imagined her looking so pretty, the blue-purple dress fitted her body perfectly, her honey colored hair ran on her back and was decorated with a shiny band. Her smiled glowed with the light, as her eyes watered. Pictures went one by one, the ones when she was little, with her best friend, and then… hey! There I am! I shouted and hugged Vivi, I couldn't help but show my happiness. My eyes tried to water, but I didn't want to cry... I looked around everyone so exited, to see her dancing the bals. I couldn't help but imagine if people would be as happy for me when I turn 15...

I realized that turning 15 maybe it going to be important, because if you think about it... You are one more step into being a women... Can't wait for next year.

Heartbreak

Why do I feel this way?

What is this feeling?

It’s not familiar with me…

It is the first time I experience it.

I think of him

ALWAYS.

When I look at him

My word lightens.

When he talks to me,

I am wordless.

It’s like I always want to be with him,

And just him.

It’s just the only think that matters right now.

But, wait…

He has a girlfriend,

And it’s not me.

My heart falls into a hole,

And breaks.

I want to be the girl he likes,

The one that makes his heart pump,

The one that gives him a reason to wakeup,

The one that makes him like to come to school,

The one that could kiss his lips…

But sadly,

I’m not.

And maybe,

I’m never going to be.

Now I know what this feeling is,

The one I feel toward him,

It is love.

But I,

I am heartbroken,

For the very first time.

Wordly Wise Wednesday - Love Letter

123 Greenland
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;Lexington, Virginia 24450
Greetings my love,

The reason to this letter is to instill you a feeling of mine that I believe it's imperative to confess to you. I've thought about doing this many times, and so I made up my mind.
I'm in love with you.
I have been since 5th grade. I know that probably you don't even know I exist. And I'm aware of that, I've tried to extricate myself from this situation but it's the only thing that is impossible to me.
Everyday that I see you, my disposition changes, pervading my day with sunshine. You are the reason why I wake up everyday with a smiley face. Maybe this guile declaration, would make you throw this to the trash. Or maybe, just MAYBE, my conjecture could be wrong, and this letter would modify your entire point of view and you'll look for me. And then, I might have the courage to tell you who I am face to face and give you a spontaneous kiss (that's my absolute dream). I hope that it recurs to you that a girl is deeply in love with you, and endeavor to find me.

P.S- I love you, and just for you to know, I didn't tell you this face to face because (1) I don't have the courage needed and (2) I preferred not to be laughed at, considering the fact that in our generation this is not prevalent.

With love,
Anonymous.

Confession Tuesday- Jealousy

OK, it might sound to you a little selfish (because most of the times when I think about it, it sounds to me like it) but I have my reasons, and maybe you'll understand... Turns out that I am jealous when my big sister -- 19 year-old Laura-- comes to visit us. She lives in Colombia with her mom (she is a half-sister, we share the same Dad, but no the same mom), and sometimes she comes to Panama so that we could see each other and she could spent time with Dad. The problem is that when she comes I feel as if Dad's attitude changes, like when Laura is here it's like all his attention and enthusiasm is drawn to her, and so my dad starts to tell me things like "Isa, could you bring this to your sister" or "Isa, do this and that for you sister" and everything is for her, Laura Laura Laura and nothing for Isa. It's like hello! I'm your daughter as well pay attention to me as well... That's what I'm used to... I bet my little sister feels like this as well, but she is too busy playing creepy games with what she calls dolls.
I get this really weird feeling inside me full of envy, I love Laura so much and I miss not living with her but sometimes it gets into my nerves that she does everything perfect and gets the prettiest things, shopping only for her just because she doesn't get to be with us always, and everything when she comes to visit. It's supposed to be a good time for everyone isn't it?
But then, it gets me thinking... It is still Dad's daughter and I know she loves her as much as he does with Sofia and me, so I'm guessing that he is leveling up things for her because she only comes to visit three times a year maximum, and she is not always with Dad as we are?
The reason why I wrote about this was because yesterday Dad was talking with her on the phone and he was all happy and exited asking her how was she doing and all that, they talked for a very long time. I know she misses her daughter, I mean, who wouldn't? Maybe I should stand in his shoes and see how he feels, and stop feeling so jealous when it comes to Laura, just because I love both of them.

Memoir Monday- For Nicki

I stared at the brown poop sitting on the yellow stain on the white surface of my mom’s feather sheets with no reaction. I didn’t know how to react. How was I supposed to react to my CAT (the one that always goes to the bathroom in her pink sand box) pooping and peeing on my mom’s bed? My mom was going to go crazy… Coming into heat and not having a male cat was driving poor Nicki insane; she sided through the floor all around the house, meowing and purring and then suddenly she started to bite whatever she found, anyways…For the last week Mom had been really cranky with the cat stuff, threaten me, telling me and my sister that she was going to give her up if we didn’t take responsibility. The idea of giving Nicki to another person broke my heart, but I always kept forgetting to take her of her and kept an eye on her, and my sister obviously didn’t either, you know, eight year olds... And now this, I was frozen,, just hoping that my mom didn’t come for a while, but no, I guess it was karma. I heard her shoes tap on the floor as she walked closer and closer, and spontaneously opened the door. Her face was furious, she looked so derogatorily to the poor cat, I quickly took Nicki and went to my room. I didn’t want mom doing anything to Nicki and I didn’t want to clean it either…

I remember coming the next day from school, asking Gladys about Nicki and she telling me that my mom had taken her to the vet to take her ovaries out. I felt expressionless. It couldn’t be! I wanted to her to have babies…. From that moment I realized that my mom was taking it seriously, and she had gone to the first step and I knew that if I didn’t take responsibility I might lose Nicki, and that was the last thing I wanted. It’s funny because a little bit more than a year ago, I thought about cats being disgusting cleaning them selves up with their tongues, and having dangerous diseases that they could transmit but as I saw Nicki grow after my mom gave it to my sister and me as a surprise, I kind of grew an emotional feeling for her, you know, I saw her grow from a little kitty that was the size of my palm to what is she is now. So I told myself that I had to be more responsible with her.

Slice Of Life Thursday

We were walking towards the car thinking how would we would fit six girls in a seat of four. I counted the heads that I saw, okay, Ana Carolina, check. Laura, Alexa and Liz, check. Who was I missing?
Oh. Then it came to my mind...
"Where's Patty?", I asked all of them.
The question perplexed all the girls, and after they thought of the last time they saw P, Alexa said that she had been called by Ms. Post. Each of us tried to call her hundrends of times to her cellphone but then we remembered that Coach Henter had taken it away in P.E (as usual). We weren't sure what to do. Should we leave her?
Our last idea was to go to the office and ask them if they had seen Patty. Laura and Liz got off the car, and two minutes later they were back exhausted. With a tired voice for going up stairs they said
"Detention with Ms. Post".
That is so like Patty, this things only happen to her, I thought... Then we left to my house, fifteen minutes late, without P, poor her she wouldn't get to go to the food festival in Atlapa.

Conffesions

1. One million, By Paco Robbane. Best perfume ever! Love it with all my life... Reason? well, it kind reminds me of a guy I really really used to like, it smells SO good and it smelled better on him hehe. That's why I'm always sniffing and hugging Brian when he uses it (he thinks I do it because I like him, but I actually don't, it's funny). I think is the BEST perfume that a guy could wear, so if you want me to like you One Million by Paco Robanne is a big step ;)

2. I'm not supposed to be on facebook when I do my homework, so if my parents are coming I just scroll with four fingers in the mouse pad and the window dissapears, and they don't see that I'm on facebook! (Mom, if for any case you read this, I'm making it up. You know I wouldn't do that :D)

3. Most of Kun-Hee's comments make me laugh, for some reason. And then he always looks at me very weirdly when he sees me laugh.

4. Yesterday I didn't stay to see my sister in her basketball game, and then I felt guilty. Today I stayed afterschool and found it a little boring, I still believe that she is too short to play basketball, but still she is cute.

5. Forgot for the third time a confession to write...

6. Can't believe that I'm confessing random stuff just because it's a twilight assignment (shows the things that Ms. Brown, sorry Mrs. Meadows, can do).

7. Maybe there are more confessions to make, but why tell them all? We will have more upcoming Confession Tuesdays. :)

I go to the mall

because there is nothing else to do,
almost every week,
But today,
this Saturday,
it's not like any other day.
I put on my new outfit,
look at the mirror ten time more than usual,
put on my lip gloss, and
I'm half way out the door.
I feel nervous,
anxious,
stressed.
And I wonder
how it would be...
Entering the mall gives me chills,
my hands are cold
and shaky.
My heart is ready
to come out.
I take the stairs
and looking around to so much people
hoping to see him.
And I do.
My heart accelerates,
I suddenly feel like walking away,
but at the same time I don't.
I came here to be with him,
that's why I stay.
We walk around,
as we talk,
I look at him,
then he looks at me,
thousands of butterflies
fly in my stomach full of joy.
Can't help more than to smile, because I'm happy.
happier than usual.
Today,
and only today it was
different.

The Tell-Tale Heart - Officer Point of View

Looking at the cloudy night, as dark as it had been since midnight, we gingerly drank our 4 o'clock coffee with some crumpets looking at the early morning fog through the window. We were interrupted by a call from the chief telling us that a shriek had been heard in the house on 76th street. Immediately in a cursory manner we walked toward the house clad with big puffy coats and abrasive guns --hidden under the coats so no one could see them-- for protection.

With a grimace crossing our faces, we walked across the street to our objective. We rang the doorbell, and immediately a middle aged man opened the door for us. For what I could surmise he didn't had anything to do with the suspicion, or at least it looked like it. I informed him that we had been disputed to search the premises, and with a smile on his face he welcomed us to the warm house. As we entered we electrified the house turning on the lights on and simulated to inventory stuff in the house that we found "suspicious", but there weren't really any. Really quickly, the man brought us some seats, and desired us to rest there from their fatigues as he got himself another seat. We talked about familiar things and he always answered cheerfully. We continued talking, and after a while I noticed he was getting a little pale, but I didn't say anything maybe he felt dehydrated or something for all the talking. But then, after getting more paler he started to talk more fluently, was I the only one that was noticing this? It felt like it... I just ignored it, when suddenly:

"Villains!" he shrieked, "I dissemble no more! I admit the deed -- tear up the planks! -- here, here! -- It is the beating of his hideous heart".


After this,we derived that something was wrong....The first few seconds, we all started at him, he was definitely crazy. He was breathing hard and looked anxious for some reason. My mate had grabbed the man and handcuffed him, I notice something under the wooden floor. Something that wasn't supposed to be there... I succumbed to my curiosity, and found it. I pulled the rectangular wooden board, and there it was: the gruesome body of the old man! We called more officers to take the man to a mental hospital were he could take care of, and my mates and I endeavored to investigate further, and find more about this case...

Edamame

I really hate when I don't know how to do something, so I start to copying another person thinking that it is how you do it, but at the end it's not actually right... I was at a sushi restaurant in a normal Sunday afternoon, eating with my parents and some of their friends. There were many types of sushi rolls: salmon, crab, squid, and others that I couldn't really tell what they were. And there was this other thing that looked some what like peas, they were green and they were in the peel that had little grayish hair on them; edamame, or so they were called. I wasn't exactly sure how to eat them so before I did anything, I looked around to see how other people were eating it. I spotted one of my parent's friend, his name was Jose. He was taking edamame from a pile, putting it into his mouth, biting it a little, feeling the taste and then taking it out of his mouth looking digusting and all smushy with saliva. It didn't look so provocative to eat, but who knows? maybe it tasted good... I took a few minutes to see a couple of more times how to do it, when I finally felt that I had learn I reached out to my closest pile and grabbed one, when I was about to put it into my mouth I heard Paola --Jose's wife-- let out an outburst of laughter, "Please tell me that you were eating from that pile? Those are the ones that had been already eaten!!", she said still laughing, as she showed him how to eat them properly. I saw how Jose's eyes opened like two big marbles and spitted out the disgusting-already-eaten edamame. I was bitting my lip trying not to laugh, so I just kept it a smile. Apparently he didn't know how to eat them either... I couldn't believe that I was going to eat it like he was doing, thank god I didn't, it would've been so embarrassing. Poor Jose, he looked so perplexed...

Mother and Daughter

I looked up at the clear sky, and saw how the sun was hiding toward the horizon . It wasn't hot or cold, just the perfect warm temperature after a usual sunny day. The harsh waves that massaged the sand caught my attention, "Why haven't you ask to go for a walk on the beach? You always ask", I suddenly asked my mom. "Well, it hadn't come to my mind... Do you want to go?", she replied with little surprise at first. Sure, why not? I thought, me wanting to walk through the beach with my mom doesn't happen everyday.
As our delicate feet walked on the soft grayish sand, and the waves occasionally kiss our tip toes, we talk, we share, we laugh, and see a couple of fish drawn by tide to the shore. It felt so good, a feeling of comfortableness, a feeling that draw me to her, and made us tighter, the feeling of mother and daughter spending time together...
I enjoy every second that goes by in these moments, and it has showed to me that if we both try hard enough, each time we would make it better and better. I wish that it could be like this at least most of the time...

This year I hope for...

Your shout echos inside the room,
my words want to come out,
but they can't without tears...
while your eyes full of anger
send me to my room,
the salty tears travel my face
bringing me regret.
I don't want this to be like this, I simply don't.
This year I want a better relationship with you, mom.

My heart aches everytime you talk to me,
and tell me that you don't want to fight
anymore
because the truth is
I want the same as you, I mean it,
believe me.
This year I want a better relationship with you, mom.

I know we are strong,
stronger than your temper,
or my way of being,
selfishness from both of us,
or every little weakness of our own
that erupt in every of our stupid fights,
the ones that make us weaker everyday,
or those small details that painfully stab us...
We can beat them,
we can go far over them.
I'm sure of it
If we just try a little more...
One day we'll have the relationship that we both look out for,
the closest to perfect.
This year, I want to have a better relationship with you, mom.

I think about every time that you've helped me,
how much I need you in my life is
undescribable.
When we don't fight,
you don't only make me happy,
but bring me an ocean of joy.
I have only five more final words for you:
I love you mom.
And I hope to have a better relationship with you this year.