Again

You rebuke me.
With my head down,
prudently I nod.
Not because I want to
Not because I like to
I just stay quite so that the discussion ends...
But even like that,
it keeps on going
over and over
giving more wood to the fire.
And we embark on this once again.
This is slovenly,
stupid,
somber.
You say that I'm audacious,
that I should be conscientious
and all the problems would end, only
if I change.
It rankles me,
and it all gathers in my chest
profusely
like a bunch of wrinkled paper
each word bringing more,
overflowing.
If it was for me I would tell you,
but you'll take it wrongly,
I know,
like most of what I say...
You have no inkling that maybe I do care,
care about our problems,
That maybe I try to work them...
You're quite lackadaisical.
I feel that slowly this pilfers the little pieces
of our relationship...
Ruining it,
Damaging it,
affecting us.
It's hard for me,
It's hard for you.
I want it to be serene,
I want it to be better...
I'm not willing to keep up with it,
Are you?